Sometimes you just have to believe
Life can be tough, especially if we feel the need to navigate the journey alone.
Lately, I’ve become quite restless thinking about the future. I usually think about the long term, but it’s the short-term consequences that consume me. I ask myself, “Am I doing everything possible?”
A lot seems to be changing all at once. Soon my little brother will be heading off to college. It’s been my goal for the past two years to get him to this point. I was not alone, and a lot of the grunt work has fallen on him. He’s stayed inspired in the classroom and on the field and it landed him a scholarship to play college baseball. It’s been tough loosening the grip to allow him to be his own man, but he’s taking it in stride. Our parents would be proud. I know I am.
Another part of the transition is also sentimental. I’ve lived here for most of my life. I grew up the majority of it in the same house. It’s all my brothers and I have known as a home for the longest.
In the not so distant future we’ll say good-bye. It’ll be the closing of a chapter, but I always said a house is only a house. It’s the people that make it a home. My older brother has started his own home with his family, so for the foreseeable future he may have the ‘go to spot’ for holidays.
The big question– What’s next for me?
I’ve had the question asked to me by a few people, and to be honest I don’t know. Nothing is concrete, and I’m okay with that right now. Whatever it is I just want to be happy. I want to wake up with a purpose each day. The romantic in me wants to share my life with another person, but I don’t have control over when or who she is. Hopefully, I recognize the blessing.
I’m at the stage in my life I want to obsess over my career, not because I have to but because I want to. I don’t know what the future holds but it’s coming, better yet it’s happening, and I do plan to live it. That’s as concrete as it’ll get with me.