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Some very important resolutions made

By Staff
Man, I can't even begin to tell y'all how many people have asked me about my New Year's resolutions for 2004.
I guess that I've had at least fifteen to twenty people either email or ask me what my New Year's resolutions are going to be for this year.
What's ironic about all this is that I typically don't make any New Year's resolutions at all.
For me, I'm usually "holiday-ed" out after the stretch from Thanksgiving to Christmas, so I just sort of low key New Year's Eve and Day. No heavy drinking or partying, I just sort of chill out over the New Year's holidays.
On account of that I don't usually make any New Year's resolutions, and I don't even think about making any, to be honest.
Since, however, there appears to be some interest in them, and since I'm now thinking about it, I thought I'd lay out for y'all here, in writing and for the first time in my life, my four most important New Year's resolutions for 2004. I think y'all will find these four resolutions thought-provoking, stimulating, and a real stretch for me to achieve this year:
1) I'm going to spend more time with The Brotherhood, especially over at the IHOP.
This is a true stretch for me, but I think it's very important to keep good friendships, and to enjoy them in a setting that enhances the quality of said friendships. For me, there is no greater setting than the IHOP for the Brotherhood to seek that level of emotional satisfaction that is so important to us all. Between art films, sipping limeade, and watching Brother Foskey avoid incoming fireworks, emotional and spiritual rejuvenation occurs, and we are all the better for it. Accordingly, I will force myself to spend lots of time with the Pip and Hugh over at the IHOP in '04.
2. I'm going to pull for Georgia Tech in all things related to college athletics. This is a big stretch for me, but I'm going to try and lose my casual attitude about Georgia Tech and get more into their sports programs. I want them to do real well this year, to continue to strive for excellence, and I want this almost as much as I want the basketball officials over at UGA to improve both their eyesight and their sense of fairness.
3) I'm going to eat lots of Nu-Way hot dogs, and chug them down with Cokes loaded with that wonderful flaky ice.
During the New Year, all sorts of resolutions are made about dieting, healthy eating habits, and exercise. They make me ill to even think about them.
Therefore, I'm going to eat more Nu-Way hot dogs this year than I ever have in any past years. Statistically, this means that I'll have to eat an average of two Nu-Ways a day for the whole year to achieve this, but I feel I'm personally up to the challenge.
In fact, combining all those Nu-Ways with Cokes in that great flaky ice will result in me reaching levels of contentment that will undoubtedly add years to my life. These big shot dietary experts are dead wrong -- exercising when all you're eating are greens and Slim-Fast will only lead to terrible health problems. If you're going to drive a Cadillac, you have to put good fuel in it, so eating those delicious Nu-Ways will keep me running for another 40 to 50 more years.
If I'm wrong about this, hey, I won't be around for anyone to tell me about it anyway.
So there you have them, my tremendously challenging set of New Year's resolutions for 2004. Since they're somewhat personal I won't be able to keep y'all informed here in the column as to how much progress I'm making on them, but I will respond to private email requests about how I'm doing.