Telling someone no can be hard

Published 9:30 pm Wednesday, May 10, 2006

By Staff
I have come to the conclusion that you can't please everyone when it comes to compiling a wedding guest list, and no will become a large part of my vocabulary in the coming months.
My fiance and I set our limit to 250 people to invite to our wedding. I really wanted to have fewer than that because I don't like a lot of attention. When all eyes are on me, my face gets really red and I begin to sound like a bumbling idiot.
However, my fiance has the largest family known to mankind. It never seems to fail, whatever part of Baldwin County we are visiting, we seem to run into a relative of his.
In fact, both sides of his family have more family reunions than the Kennedys. I tell him, a family reunion every six months is not a reunion. It's a gathering. Nothing too major could have happened in the last six months.
There are cousins after cousins pouring out of the woodwork.
I've never seen such a thing. I thought I came from a large family. I have two sisters and a brother, who in turn have a several children of their own. Then there is my aunt and uncle and my mom's best friend, who I have called my aunt since I uttered my first word, and several cousins.
So when it came to our guest list I knew it was going to be a battle. It became obvious the guest list would have to accommodate his side of the family several days ago when we began to piece together our list - by the way, I haven't even added my parent's friends, and the list has already surpassed 200.
I try to tell him, there comes a time when you have to tell your third cousin's mother-in-law we would love to have you attend, but we are only inviting immediate family and close friends.
But how do you tactfully do this without hurting their feelings?
In that case, we will invite them, but don't go and spread that around. If they find out the &#8220secret” way of getting invited, then we'll not only be partied out, but we will be exceeding our numbers.
I have always had a hard time telling people no, and when I do I begin to feel guilty.
But after this wedding, I think the biggest thing I will learn is how to say no and still feel comfortable with my decision. Lord help me, I've still got nine months to go.
Mary-Allison Lancaster is the managing editor of The Brewton Standard. She can be reached by e-mail at or by phone at 251.867.4876.