Hope for a forever marriage
Published 11:17 pm Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Love is not finding the perfect person, but seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” – Sam Keen
Marriage is one of the most sacred things on earth. In a world where technology seems to be replacing any need for human affection, the divorce rate has risen to it’s peak. It seems that the only solid couples are the older ones, but as we all know, things are not always as they seem. The younger marriage that I admire is a tale of transition from obligation to adoration; though their marriage started as a ‘must-do’, they now see each other as a ‘must-have’.
Dennis George and Lasonja Bayne met at the young ages of 17 and 16. It was exactly the opposite of love at first sight; Dennis had seen only a beautiful girl he wanted on his arm, while Lasonja saw a pest who was trying to ruin the relationship she was already in. Despite doubts between both the two and outside speculators, they ended up dating. It was like any other case of young love until one and a half years had come along with an unexpected blessing that neither were ready for.
Almost instantly, people began asking about marriage. Being teens, they didn’t have to seriously consider marriage before this, but now it was an imperative thought.
After the baby’s birth, Dennis and Lasonja spent more time with each other than ever before, and almost two years after the birth of their firstborn, they finally married in 1996 (while he was 22 and she was 21) for the sake of their child. It has been 14 years since their obligatory marriage, and the two who were once undecided adolescents are now responsible adults. Where in the beginning their marriage was based on love for their child, it has now grown to an unconditional love for each other. They make sure to daily incorporate elements such as love, trust, support, commitment, and communication into their relationship, and seek answers to any disagreements in God and each other.
I deeply admire this couple because of their determination, dedication, and willingness to learn. When they were first married, or when anyone is for that matter, they didn’t have all of the answers.
Even now, they will tell you that they still don’t always know what to do. Yet, never in my five years of knowing them have I ever seen them give up or stop trying to find solutions to whatever problems they may be having. Every day I see them together, they are a reminder to me that even though marriage can sometimes be stressful or unpredictable or make you want to pull your hair out, it can be amazing and rejuvenating and the love that you have for your spouse can help you overcome any obstacles that come your way.
When most people get married, they don’t realize the extent of the work that has to be put into a marriage. I am very blessed and glad to say that I have couples such as this to teach me that to have a successful, lifelong partnership, you must not only base your relationship off of duties or emotions; it takes effort to keep even the best marriages intact. I hope to have a marriage like the George’s one day because they know that to love means to sacrifice, and that though love is not always easy, any problem can be solved with persistency, faith, and determination. Every married couple has the right to be together for the exact time that their vows promise: “Until death do us part…” And I believe with every bone in my body that if you exercise patience and love as Dennis and Lasonja have, anyone can build a marriage to last for a lifetime.